It can be difficult to manage change. People tend to like things to stay the same, stay predictable, and stay steady. It’s easier when things go as they always have than when we’re presented with new variables and unexpected happenings.
The fact is,
however, change is part of life. Buddhism teaches that everything is temporary, and it’s true. Nothing stays the same, and the only predictable feature of our lives on the earth is change and flux. The more we can be prepared for managing change, the better off we’ll be in our personal and professional lives.
If you’re facing big changes in your life, whether you’ve lost a job, gotten married, had children, or discovered you’re facing a serious illness, you’re probably wondering why it’s so difficult to deal with change, and how you can best handle these drastic changes.
Here are some of the reasons it’s difficult for us to manage change, and some tips for dealing with the ups and downs of our lives:
1. Fear
Words associated with Fear (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Fear is the biggest reason for us being unable or unwilling to deal with change. Just like a deer will freeze in a road when a car’s headlights approach, we will stop in our path and stare down the changes approaching us, too afraid to do anything, unable to move. Fear is a natural part of being human, since it keeps us from getting hurt and spurs us to action. But when it keeps us from action, it can get in the way of productive activity and a healthy response to change. How can you deal with fear? The best thing to do is to recognize when you are afraid. If you see that you are afraid, and you understand why, you’re more likely to be able to take steps to mitigate that fear and move forward. Try journaling about your fears – just listing them, and writing about why you have them. What are you afraid of, exactly? Why? How can you respond to these fears? Writing them out will help you to see them in black-and-white, and suddenly, the things you’re afraid of will appear less frightening and more manageable.
2. Uncertainty
We like to be certain about things. We like to know what’s going to happen and when. Unfortunately, however, life doesn’t work that way. Uncertainty is a fact of life, and sometimes the uncertainty in our lives accelerates and becomes particularly difficult to manage. We need to become comfortable with this uncertainty and learn to live with it. How can you do this? Well, one step is to educate yourself. The more you learn about a job, a disease, or any other situation, the more you’ll know what to expect. Yes, there will always be uncertainty, but if you educate yourself about a topic, you’ll have less uncertainty. You’ll know what’s happened before, what others recommend, and what you might be able to do in response to the different possibilities. You won’t be able to predict everything that might happen, but you will be able to learn from others’ past experiences. Read, talk, watch documentaries, call experts, read articles online. The more you find out, the more comfortable you’ll feel.
3. Need to control
Change Management’s Approval flow (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
We all have a need to control our environment and situations, but sometimes this tendency to want to control situations can actually hinder us and our progress, particularly when we go through periods of great change. We need to learn to let go, to recognize that we can’t control everything, and we especially can’t control the actions, words, or thoughts of others. Many things are beyond our control, but that doesn’t mean that our lives need to be out of control. There are ways of managing situations without controlling them. The key is to control what we can control – and the only thing we can really control is our responses to life. If you realize that you are in control of your thoughts, feelings, and responses, you’ll find that dealing with change is easier and less threatening. Our feelings and thoughts color everything around us, and if we’re afraid or angry or defiant, things will look dark around us. If we’re positive, happy, and optimistic, things will look easier to handle. Try this exercise: the next time you’re going through a period of change or transition, stop, take a deep breath, and try controlling your response to that situation. If you were afraid, try not being afraid. If you were uncertain, try to be upbeat. If you were angry, try being compassionate. It’s remarkable how just this little exercise can suddenly change everything around you. It won’t change the reality of any given situation, but it will change your ability to deal with that situation.
4. Too much focus
Ironically, sometimes when we focus too much on a situation, we can become obsessed with it. This obsession leads to difficulties in dealing effectively with that situation. If we think too much about a problem, it can be hard to solve it. The answer here? Turn away for a while. Take a vacation, or just a nap. Stop thinking about it. Your mind will still be unconsciously working on that problem, on ways of handling that change, but it will be freer to think what it wants for a while, without your obsessive focus. When you turn back to the problem at hand, you’ll find that you have a new perspective, new answers, and new ideas. Hobbies like gardening, reading, or playing music can help to ground you and make you happier. While you’re engaged in these activities, you’ll be able to reconnect with yourself, with what really matters, with what you care about. It also lets you know that not everything is changing, that there are some things that stay the same, that you have abilities and interests that will survive any of the changes that happen around you. Then, when you return to consciously thinking about the problem at hand, you’ll find that you’re more flexible and better able to survive, no matter what happens.
source:bizabode
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